To kick off the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence Campaign here in Iceland, a nice crowd gathered

Our (white haried) PM (right), and interestingly, Latifah (middle / front), the first Afghan woman I've ever met! She carried a torch for us:) and I had a nice chat with her.

by the Culture House (where my step-dad used to work; RIP Óli xx) at 1900 hours tonight, where a short address was made by my boss and the vice president (?) of UNIFEM in Iceland. 12 torches were lit and handed over to known faces / individuals who’d been given the special honour to head the walk and by this were showing their earnest desire to fight against gender based violence. The 12 torches were to remind us that this is an issue we must be aware of all year round.

This particular event was planned by us, my work (Icelandic Human Rights Centre) and UNIFEM. Loads and loads of other NGOs are part of the event, too, and there are more events planned – check us out on Facebook, y’all:), or via our website.

Re: NGOs and causes in general … if you tell someone you are an animal rights activists, or anti violence against women (just two examples), there are always those who’ll say “why don’t you fight for peoples’ rights before you fight for the rights of animals?”, and “what about violence against men, should that be overlooked and allowed?”

Well, you gotta pick your battles, right? How you do that, I am not sure abt others, but I am guessing in some cases it has to do with what interests you, and in some cases your chosen battles have to do with personal experience.

Widen the ‘target’ Group Dilemma: “Hmm, violence against women, well that’s just not fair on men, so let’s include them. And children, of course. Women get beat up by men in their homes, and vice versa. But hey, what about gay couples? Okay, we’ll include gays. And trans, of course [etc etc, you get my point, right?]. So, our campaign is now: End Violence Against … Humans”. Of course “woman” means something entirely different than “lesbian”, but still. I’m tired, can’t make too much sense right now!

Widen the Cause Dilemma: This one is endless – I don’t think I need to write much here. You are rallying against violence towards humans. So you think fighting ‘against violence’ is limiting. Actually it isn’t, bc you can break this down into a gazillion parts. Do that. Now you’ve ended up with a list of violences; that’s a bit limited, isn’t it? There is ore to life than violence! So fight for equal rights for all. Now answer this: What are rights? What does ‘equal’ encompass? Define, and list.

Do not get me wrong; I am all FOR ending ALL VIOLENCE against ALL PEOPLE !!

The Concerns:

1. Where do you start?
2. If you go by everyone’s definition of all kinds of violence and rights, just to start, you’ve got one massive cause on your hands.
3. Where do you end?

I am too tired to think of other concerns in including all people and all causes, always. You get my drift, right?

Anyway. Those who want a better world and think it’s worth fighting for each pick the issue/issues they prefer to work on, and start from there. Except the ones who always have to say “why don’t you include men in your anti violence against woman campaign” or “why not fight for the liberation of all chimps, as well as pandas?” These people spice it up, so they do:)

——————————————————————————-

See my smarty boss interviewed on the 7 o’clock news tonight.

See my (fat but happy) face handing torches to Iceland’s PM and Minister of Finance as well as other torch carriers (15.05 min., ca).

it's really not a bad idea, on a daily basis even.

During this month of American Thanksgiving it’s especially appropriate.

So, just taking into account some things that happened today, this evening I reserve the right to be grateful for:

• coming home to two adorable kittens one of whom greets me at the door with a stretch and a yawn and a “i love you, and not just bc the food you are just about to give me”, both of whom meow outside my bathroom door bc they want to be in there with me, and the other of whom (?) climbs up my legs to my back or tummy and eventually ends up sitting on my shoulders like a purring furry parrot, gnawing on my wet hair;
• super generous former bosses (Alan, Tobba) who give me such encouragement and say the nicest, helpful things about me which, if they don’t help on job applications, certainly do wonders for my ego;
• a house mate who cooks me dinner and has bonded with my naughty cat in a disciplinary way, and is so close a friend that we’ve become like siblings, which admittedly also has its drawbacks as siblings fight more than friends;
• a Japanese minister who, despite his Icelandic and English skills both lacking some, positively made my day by asking whether I’d lived in Scotland, or perhaps England, as my English clearly sounded Sco’ish!;
• for rather solitary but fun hobbies and likes, like music and internet and downloaded tv shows;
• lessons learned through random chores and crap telly – random chore lesson) house mate and I spend most every night after work on our laptops in front of the telly, and we often have stupid arguments as we are both stubborn & self-righteous. Not really, though actually … he is exactly that:) Tonight we had to pick up my new washing machine, and just the act of planning it, carrying the thousand tonne monster down and into a car, and then out of car into my flat and down some stairs made our day! Made our day in terms of just shaking things up a bit in a new activity. I know of course that communication is key in every relationship, friendship or otherwise, but I was reminded in a fun way of the value of activities & quality time spent together. Crap telly lesson) So, I came home after the washing machine epiphany and watched some old “King of Queens” episode where the Heffernan’s discuss – you got it – the value of quality time together. His idea: he keeps his friends, and she drop all hers. I don’t approve. But quality time, folks, and not only that: doing stuff, planning and executing activities, is key, it so is! It all made me think back and feel bad for some exes with whom I couldn’t do fun stuff, as I was sick, and then I felt sorry for those who will never have the fun times, with me!, only I am able to plan and execute. Poor buggers:)

So, that’s my Thanksgiving.

Yours?

Spent a good half hour last night grinding my teeth in agitation over Joseph Fiennes’s horrible & embarrassing American accent. There’s gotta be a group on Fb dedicated to this weekly annoyance. Other than that I enjoyed the latest Flash Forward episode.

I can’t help but recognise the similarities between the effects which the forward flashes have on the people in the episode, and the effects of LDS Patriarchal Blessings on some of the recipients (PBs if you’re cool).

God knows, oh yes He most certainly does – if He’s out there!, how much I ruminated and fretted over my blessing.

I feel tempted to investigate in writing my feelings about my PB, but I am not sure where this would take me. The blessings are personal and sacred to the individual, usually. Mine meant the world to me. Dissecting my feelings about it might not be pretty, and for sure it would be much too much personal info.

So just read this for an informing, different, fun view on PBs :)

Here’s an thought: why didn’t the author of Flash Forward add an active Mormon to the fray – one whose flash forward either matched or didn’t match his PB!! What a fabulous idea!

Not in this sense, away.

I felt like posting this picture mainly bc as absurd and silly as it seems, the text is actually the simple truth!

This was posted here under the heading: The Legacy of the Expansion? The Icelandic word for the Icelandic business mens’ and financiers’ ‘global expansion programme’ is útrás, and the men in question are most commonly referred to as Expansion Vikings, útrásarvíkingar. I honestly can’t remember if this was also their moniker before the world found out they’d thrown caution and ethics to the wind* and screwed the nation over so dramatically as to bankrupt and ruin it with little or no hope of recovery for decades to come, but generally speaking, if anyone likens your business (tactics) abroad to that of a Viking, I dare say the informed mind would immediately conjure up images of someone in the act of raiding, murdering, raping, pillaging & plundering. That was, sorry, is the Viking way.

If you can read Icelandic, or are clever enough to use Google Translate, you’ll find some of the comments made on the original post informative.

Even though we are currently trapped in financial hell, it does give one a bit more self-confidence to see that, despite theim trying to convince us otherwise and saying they did nothing wrong and they are the clever ones, the Expansion Vikings are actually, literally a bunch of assholes. They may be sitting at the top, but assholes none the less. Funnily enough, they remain assholes despite having fallen from the perch to their humiliating deaths.

And generally speaking, people described as such holes are worthless scum. Again, funnily enough, they never seem aware of it. But we are. That’s enough for us:)

*Can you throw away stuff you don’t have originally?

And it was a good one, too. So good!

3rd month at the office, though, so I am in the know as to what we do there. But now that I am an employee I feel more responsible and capable. Odd how that happened over night. It also has to do with the way I can introduce myself as someone actually hired and therefore entrusted with delicate and varied assignments. Before I was merely ‘entrusted’ haha :)

Today I made some stat charts from research on discrimination in Iceland vs EU, edited some papers / research which is to go into a book re: human rights (duh!), prepped a meeting and took notes at it, did a shop & post office run. Doesn’t sound like much, does it?

But you see …

je aussi. it is my right to be overjoyed & eager abt this job, for however long it lasts (the job, and the joy).

The charts covered stats I find interesting and enlightening, and allowed me to relearn chart making, yawn, haha. Every paper / essay / research I’ve read in the 3 months I’ve been here is fascinating to me and super educational, and the shopping & shipping was to do with the book these papers are to be be published in soon. Organising chairs & tables and making sure meeting attendees got coffee or water wasn’t trivial or bothersome; I really didn’t mind as the meeting was important (having to do with the upcoming 16 Day Campaign), and again, the topics discussed, issues raised and ideas submitted lit my internal human rights enthused fire! :)

And I was literally elated after all I learned today at work. Perhaps it’s a bit selfish to feel so good abt being enlightened on the job. But I do also contribute, not just take. I must remember that.

I am not sure if this joy will wear off but somehow I don’t think so. I mean, even though I am actually working in a place (though perhaps not in the position, but that’ll come) I’ve wanted to be in since I was a teenager, I am sure there will be frustrating days. But that’s the normal, right? Stars get tired of paparazzi now & then, I will get frustrated with charts now & then.

I count myself very fortunate to be in this environment which is good for me, and in which I can do good for others in a way that is meaningful to me, and those ‘others’.

I am thinking that perhaps I should put the ‘others’ part first, but I won’t:) If you know me and have read previous posts you will know what a big and meaningful step this is for me, to be working. I am putting myself first in the above paragraph bc the mask goes on me first, then my fellow travellers. That’s a cliché made from what air hostesses tell us when travelling by air. And it’s true!

Though my main interests and know-how still lie square within the (human) rights of asylum seekers, refugees, immigrants, and women, I will be learning about other facets too, which is brilliant. Oops, I sound like I am at uni again:) I meant to say, I will be working on projects having to do with human rights in a wider context, and that is awesome.

Awesome! Yay :)

So, guess what? I gots the job I wanted. Yup. It’s only mine for certain until end of December, but still.

I will apply for the other job which is probably due to start in January 2010.

My new boss understands that I must look out for myself and if I get and want the ‘other’ job, then I will be free to leave anytime it suits me.

But as it’s likely that my new/current work needs me and will have the funds to hire me into the coming year, I will hopefully stay on with them. For how many months no one can say, and the pay won’t be grand, but that’s all insignificant when contrasted with the fabulousness which is that I will get to work at something I am passionate about and gain invaluable experience from experts and other good peeps.

Yay!

I still don’t quite believe how lucky I am! Lucky, and worthy of the role? Oh why not:)

I have been very blessed with jobs most of my life. I’ve either gotten the jobs I wanted through nepotism which is what it is, and this only when I was under 20, and other jobs I’ve gotten based on my own strengths, be that my CV, my powers of conviction, or like now, by starting as a volunteer in a place and position which I wanted and then came to need me, as I told them they did. Way to go, me!

I will go celebrate by colouring my hair.

It’s not just that I got a job I really want. I am also now healthy enough to start working again. At last! I haven’t worked since August 2007, though I tried as I could for several months after that. Didn’t happen then, I couldn’t do it. No point in explaining; either you understand that I really couldn’t function properly and by no means work, or you don’t. I’ve now overcome the worst adversity of my life, a horrible and mind-boggling battle with depression (BiPolar2) which I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. I am now ‘fully functional’ and able to work again, and I am enjoying it! As much as I love to write, I am not really capable of conveying my overwhelming happiness at this particular juncture.

I have the power!

That, and I am getting Google Wave from my friend Matt. What a day! :)

Do I go for

• a stable, very well paid job which is conveniently temporary and would see me through August 2010, a job I could do sleeping on my head, but which I can’t exactly put down as one embracing anything I am passionate about (except for some random photographing and a human relations bit, human contact, which I like:) ),

or

• a faint possibility of working full-time until end of Dec. this year in a field I am overwhelmingly passionate about but don’t (yet) have all the necessary skills, though a little experience at, for not much but fair money, a job which would be a delightful and cherished challenge for me, with no hope of being employed for longer?

In a fairy tale scenario the latter job gets unexpected funds plus reason to hire me for 10  mths or so. Yay. Y’all pray for that, alright?

Here is a snapshot from my last real work (in Scotland). It was delightful in every way, for all parties concerned:) It was a fun nightmare actually, which I think back on with much regret for not enjoying it more and gladness for being outta there! Made life-time friends there, so ... I'm the dark haired beauty in the back, sitting near Jilly and Aileen, while Pat was manning the front desk. Boss man Alan has shaved his mustache, grown some hair, gotten contacts, lost the tie & some weight since. On second glance, that may not even be him in the photo ...

Then I can envision myself actually executing my fledgling plan of leaving Iceland for somewhere … else.

In other news: my kittens are hard little workers, so they are; they just awoke from their nearly all day nap. I don't think I play with them enough. That's a topic for another kitten-filled blog entry!

Uneventful day, but there’s always lots to write about. My cats for instance:) Obsessions and music, too.

Ninjai just came around the corner carrying in her mouth a toy mouse by the tail (carrying by the tail a toy mouse in her mouth? Kitten – mouth – toy mouse – hanging by the tail). She looks like such a hunter, and she is rather convincing as one while playing with this particular mouse, a favourite toy of hers. But that’s in the flat; once outside she is the prissiest of kittens, and I don’t think she’ll ever bring me anything living, like a bird. Not even a worm or fly. Not my Ninjai. She once caught a leaf outside though, I witnessed her attacking it as it lay defenseless on the ground, and she was conflicted when she saw me trying to herd her and Nala inside. Stay and finish offing the leaf or go inside with my human? She dropped the leaf, ran to me, then ran back to the leaf and frantically tried to pick it up again, then came running again to go inside. Playfully frantic and over excited was she. So cute! :)

And while I’ve been listening to music and watching some shows off the internet, Nala has been circling my very nice speakers, trying to figure out what’s going on inside there. She does that whenever the speakers are on, and I am amased at how good her hearing is, or rather I am amased that she can distinguish between sounds from the telly, from me, from the road outside, and the ones coming from the speakers. She will push the wee speakers around sometimes in an attempt to unlock the mystery. Tonight she left them alone though. I am not sure how much more falling on the floor they can handle.

I’m in the middle of listening to uncountable versions of Beyoncé’s Halo on YouTube. I get obsessed about things, especially music, and I like it that way:) Only when my mental health is off kilter do I view this obsessive repetition of songs or behaviour as negative. I don’t sit and rock back & forth for hours, though, thankfully, in case you wondered! It’s more like if I am ‘mid-mania’ or somewhat depressed I spend a lot of money on excessive amounts of things like shoes, bedding, make-up, books, whatever I feel I need. I try to buy things in bulk, huge quantities which will last me a lifetime:) Gotta get all colours, shades, types, etc. You never know what tomorrow brings, you never know when you’re gonna need these items, and you never know when you’ll have the money next to buy them.

On the positive side, I credit my tendency to obsess with my quick acquisition of the English language when I was little, as I read and listened to English every opportunity, and this obsessive interest in music also seared onto my brain an endless amount of tunes and lyrics, and that’s only good.

One of my nephews is like me, the obsessive type; his mum and I see a lot of me in him. I try to look at is as a positive thing, like above, since I’ve never suffered much from playing the same song over and over again countless times. Only my purse suffers when the repetitiveness manifests itself in extended shopping sprees. My nephew hasn’t suffered from a music overdose either, and he is ridiculously good with money for a 15 yr old, so it’s all good.

When it comes to listening to a particular song on repeat for, ehm, a loooong time it is simply a way of purging feelings, of learning new things (new English words, song lyrics, vocal techniques etc), and just really getting what it is I am interested in under my skin.

Feels good at any rate. Unless it’s a manic phase, like I said.

Generally, for me, this obsession has to do with music, and today it’s that Halo song. I know, it’s juvenile, and it’s mass-market pop. What can I say?

Scores of amateur singers have uploaded their versions on to YouTube; many are not too bad, either. I like the irregularities and complexities of this song, and I recognise which parts are tough for me to sing – basically all of Beyoncé’s rapid sliding is beyond my capabilities – so now I am seriously thinking that I should take those singing lessons I’ve always wanted. I love singing, and I’ve enjoyed being in various choirs over the years, but I confess that I don’t like rehearsals as much as I do just belting it out, so perhaps I am more of a social / party / karaoke singer. I am eager to learn techniques, so perhaps I will look into that and not just think about it!

I think the world is lucky that YouTube wasn’t around when I was a teenager. I got a record player when I was 14 and I spent years in my room listening to 10,000 Maniacs, Leonard Cohen, Cat Stevens, Michelle, Wham!, and yes Roger Whitaker; I wasn’t just listening though, I sang along as well and tried as I could to mimic the voices and all of the singers’ intonations etc. I sometimes recorded myself singing, and I would certainly rather likely have posted vids of myself singing on YouTube had it existed at the time:) My older sister and her friends once got a hold of a tape with me on it and they were gonna send it to this talk show, and get me on it as one of their amateur performers. Thankfully they didn’t! The show was crap, the host is this big Icelandic celeb who’s had a very sad and rough life and is very nice, but I didn’t particularly like him, though when after decades of boozing he was forced to move to Thailand where he died pool side and was brought back to life, I started liking him:)

I don’t get what this Halo song is about, I keep thinking someone is dead, but it don’t much matter to me. I just like the melody. So did these folks below; there are sooooooooooooo many truly gifted singers who’ve posted their own versions, so much talent in the world:)

But here are the ones I’ve listened to and who stand out:

Sam Tsui (i like him v much)

Lisa Lavie (don’t watch her too closely, just listen … okay, watch and you’ll see why i said not to watch)

skinnyjeans / tapered jeans: i never wore them quite like this when 7, nor do i now.

I am sitting at home tucked nicely into new jeans that are pretty near identical to the jeans that were in in 1980. Oui, I was alive and old enough to know about fashion that year, and not ashamed of it. Anymore! I was 7, living in Copenhagen, and had two wants for school-beginning: a fabulous, brown, three-tiered pencil case, and ‘carrot jeans’. Gulerodsbukser*.

I was ultra-proud to have the money to pay for my pencil case myself, and I did so, finally, after dragging my mum to the shop umpteen times to look at it from all angles and with all possibilities in mind. I figured it would have to last far into my future, perhaps my whole life!, so it had to be perfect! The jeans I don’t actually remember that well, though I do remember being like all the others when wearing them. Phew!

Now they’re back and I’ve got a pair, and so the words of my mother’s mother, Sigrún Benedikta Kristjánsdóttir: “life is an eternal merry-go-round”, have come true in my lifetime.

Last night I had a fun, nice, warm & fuzzy dream, and tonight I thought I’d share it with a friend who happened to be in it. After I’d emailed him I thought it might have been a mistake, but then I remembered that everyone is responsible for their own reactions, and if he is upset, so be it. Though I recognise that being in someone’s dream can be upsetting to some, this dream wasn’t that upsetting! I hope!

I am learning, in therapy and outside, about myself and the world. It’s mostly good, and if not good, then it’s something to learn something more from! How Pollyanna is that!

Here I was thinking I was alone in finding some men 'unavilable' ...

I’ve learned, for instance, something important about the men I choose and fancy:

They are unavailable.

They’re missionaries, emotionally stifled, of a different ‘persuasion’ than I, religious or otherwise, otherwise engaged, to name a few variables.

I dare say many an LDS girl has had a crush on a missionary. In my case he was ‘all that’ until I spotted spelling errors in his love letters, at which point I completely lost interest. Shallow, sure. I haven’t quite outgrown that one, th0ugh …

For someone who analyses words, feelings and actions as much as I do, I am often very ill informed about the reality of things, and I am acutely aware of this. By that I mean that I often feel / think a certain way but figure it’s just me, I’m the only one. I am not aware that others have or have had similar experiences / feelings / thoughts. Therefore, I am often very busy trying to see if my thoughts / feelings are in accord with universal harmony. If I knew they were, or when I find out that they are, my feelings etc are normalised and generalised in my mind to the point that they become acceptable, to me at any rate, understandable and, most significantly perhaps: I realise that my feelings / thoughts are not caused by my BiPolar, they are not my fault and they most certainly are not due to my worthlessness.

It would, you see, be very typical for someone like me to assume that the men I refer to were only unavailable to me, this due to my worthlessness; I cannot tell you how many years I’ve spent thinking like this. As I don’t speak about my innermost concerns and issues with friends and relatives much, but rather post them online and pretend it’s all anonymous;), it’s good for me and refreshing to see so many sites, books, t-shirts, jokes etc on the unavailable type. Deep inside I always suspected it was them, not me - that they had/have emotional shortcomings, like everyone does, to some degree!, and it wasn’t my fault, or due to their lack of love towards me (again, to be blamed on my worthlessness) that they couldn’t be there for me. Perhaps all or some never loved me at all, and in some cases I believe this is true, but this doesn’t really account for their unavailability. You can give of yourself, be there for someone else despite.

I have other issues with which these guys had to deal. And they didn’t, not very well. Thankfully, these issues will soon enough belong to the past, where the guys are who just couldn’t give enough of themselves, to/for me.

When one partner is (emotionally) unavailable and the other has 'issues' which prevent them/me from dealing with that, it's only logical that they're both going nowhere slow ... Having had the experience, I maintain that one shouldn't, bc it isn't good for one, put up with any unavailability in a partner. Be there, or be square, haha! :)

Men have been nice enough to me, I ’spose, despite our mutual short-comings. The ‘otherwise engaged’ in particular, and I’d like to think that the ‘emotionally unavailable’ have matured enough to have nothing but pda and loving words & gazes to show their future loved ones that they’re all theirs.

Whatever you read out of this is your concern. For me, I’ve finally recognised a pattern, and as it hasn’t been the best for me, perhaps now that I recognise it, I can do something about it!

*The words for carrot in Danish and Icelandic, and probably other languages, is yellow roots. Makes sense, eh? Though orange roots would make more sense.

i wouldn't mind trying this

I had one today.

Lovely:)

I always have trouble understanding people who say they don’t like getting a massage.

I also sometimes have trouble understanding the masseuse, as some of them say weird stuff.

I would prefer them to not say a word, and some are good that way, but they always have to talk a little bit. Just a little … I wish I had the lack of etiquette to tell them that I will let them know if they are causing some discomfort, but unless I pipe up, they are to remain quiet.

Today’s masseuse was a new one to me, as I now have to go to a new place which is somewhere easily accessible by walk. She was quite good, though I didn’t get as pampered as I wanted. Next time. She also talks a lot, but it was educational mostly which was good. It was okay, I guess, not great, all the talking I mean – she did say some weird stuff, too …

I am a firm believer in our bodies being made for self-healing, and that it has ways of letting us know when something is wrong. I believe that our environment and foods provide plenty of pollutants which hinder this process. I only believe, I don’t have a clue about how it actually works. I like it when scientifically minded people feel the same way and are able to express their theories scientifically, as opposed to weirdly!

The lady masseuse today said things like:

Just know that when you sweat your body is crying. I like saying that instead of being negative and saying things like it’s yucky sweat .

She did add that once you recognise that your body is crying, the next step is accepting it, and then finding out why so you can fix it. So it’s all good, makes sense – makes more sense than just saying it and leaving it at that. What would be the point? And what a weird point! Saying your are sweating makes you feel yucky, but saying your body is crying might make you wanna hug yourself and fix whatever is wrong! :) But still … it’s silly:)

When massaging my chest (modestly), this is what happened:

Masseuse: Hmm I am ‘getting something’ about your lungs.

Steinunn: Well, I am okay, but I was diagnosed as having asthma when I was 16. I quit using the inhaler when I was 26 and haven’t needed it since. Frankly I am not sure I ever did, though I must admit that even when I was really fit my lungs never quite followed my body’s level of fitness.

M: Do you remember your birth?

S: Ehm, no. Should I?

M: Some do. Was there any trauma in connection with your birth?

S: Nope, birth was okay, but I was born with under-developed bronchi! :) (I giggle at this, bc hitherto this has just been an irrelevant and slightly amusing fact, nothing more; tonight my mum told me it was actually my trachea or windpipe which needed more stewing).

M: That makes sense. Was there much stress or grief surrounding the pregnancy (in which I was a fetus (sp?)?

S: Not really, though my mum did smoke at the time like everyone else. Perhaps there was also some stress bc my mum had one daughter already and was having another, supporting us all on her own.

M: Hmmm so, much stress, much sorrow, grief.

S: No, not really grief or sorrow, though I don’t know, but very likely stress.

M: Mmm grief. Yes.

S: Okay then, grief it is! So this could have caused by lung issues and/or the under-developed bronchi?

M: Yes. (big smile)

She is very smiley, and very convinced of what she was saying. She is also very unique in the way she recognises that not everyone believes what she is saying, and she never pushes her views on you. On me.

Like I told her, I’ve had some issues with my lungs, but nothing too serious, just difficulties breathing:) I don’t have any of the diseases one would associate with this symptom, (and don’t say I’m just out of shape, I refer you to the above), so why not believe what the masseuse said? She also has received training in cranio sacral and other techniques. She is wise in this area. Nice to listen to for another point of view.

I can’t remember any other phrases verbatim, but she did say stuff like ”breathing into the pain”, which I’ve never understood before today. I think they describe it in such a weird way bc there is no way to fully explain it; you gotta experience it. She massaged some painful spot on me, which indicates something is wrong, clogged up energy somewhere, and when I ground my teeth to cope, she instructed me to “breathe into the pain” instead. Like when giving birth – and I really don’t know why I haven’t ever made this connection before. Why would that funky breathing technique not be good for other painful instances? Huh? Well, it is, it works. Once you realise what it is you are breathing ‘in to’.

She also mentioned this a few times in connection to acting on a wish/need/desire to do something specific – she said something about connecting yourself into the decision, by breathing perhaps. I can’t quite remember, but again, it sounds a bit silly yet I can’t help but think that it would work. It’s basically meditation. And since when has that hurt anyone?

I think if I were to admit having any probs with alternative therapies, it’s only when the wording is cuckoo and loopy, you get my drift. So, I will look past that and analyse like I am always doing anyway, put it in words I understand and like, and voila! I will be … I dunno what, but I will have learned something!